Travel Jokes While On The Road

I’ve been traveling for work quite a bit lately. Had some downtime in the airports and picked up a few traveling jokes along the way. I wouldn’t recommend this one if you get pulled over by a police officer though:

Have you been drinking?

Woman is speeding and gets pulled over. Officer asks her to step out of the car. “Ma’am I noticed your eyes were a little bloodshot. Were you drinking?

With a “sweet” reply, the woman says, “Sir, I noticed your eyes were glazed. Were you eating donuts?”

The Poor Limo Driver

Have you heard about the poor limo driver who was driving for 10 years without a single customer?

All those years and nothing to chauffeur it.

(more…)

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How Much Do You Read?

I was traveling last week and heading over to Europe. On the plane from New York City to London, one of the gentlemen I was sitting next to started a conversation with me just after take off. He was a businessman from Atlanta. He was heading over to London for some business consulting with some small businesses just outside of London. I asked him how long he had been doing business consulting. He had been involved in the small business consulting arena for a little over 15 years. I asked him how he was able to sustain his business for that long. I’ve always worked for a large corporation and had the benefit of thousands of employees.

Frankly, I was taken back by his response. He didn’t give me an answer. He asked me a very interesting question.

How much do you read?

Well, I read quite a bit, actually was my answer. I read everyday. I had a copy of the Wall Street Journal and Inc. magazine sitting on my lap, so I picked them up and showed him. He started laughing. Hey, okay, what is so funny? I already saw what your reading materials were just after you sat down. I’m sure the Wall Street Journal and Inc. magazine have some very interesting advertisements and come decent content.

Then he asked me another question. How much do your materials change you on a weekly basis? What do you mean change me? I mean how deeply is the Wall Street Journal changing the way you do business, on a scale of 1-10? Honestly, I didn’t have a solid answer for him. I paused for a bit. Well, I guess I’d say it was maybe a 3. Are you sure it’s that high? Give me an example of how your reading materials have given you a 3x factor change in your life, any aspect of your life…

I didn’t have an answer. So are you telling me that what you read has helped you sustain your small business marketing business over the past 15 years? Yes. That is the primary way I have grown my business. And I’m not just reading trending business books on the New York Times best seller list. I’m talking about the classics, biographies from entrepreneurs who have built business empires, psychology books, and some of the classic how-to business books. You see, your current mindset is holding you back from making any change in your life. Even getting a low 3x factor of change in your life.

You are viewing life through what you read. The modern business life is all that you are getting fed. Look, there are books that were written hundreds of years ago that can give you a 8x-10x change factor in your life. But you’re focused on the modern advertising driven reading materials. While the modern world offers many conveniences, there are also drawbacks. If you want to experience a significant change in your life, you have to change what you are filling your mind with and engage in reading some solid classic books, human psychology books and how-to business books. Get your hands on biographies written by billionaires. Read books on human nature and how it influences business decisions. Purchase some books on classic business how-to and how entrepreneurs have built successful businesses 50 years ago.

Interesting conversation that challenged me to my core. It was cutting. I wasn’t laughing, but he was. I’ve got to change my reading habits and grow my library. Hello Amazon.

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Are Marketing Jokes The New Lawyer Jokes?

Since marketing and online marketing is so popular these days, do you think online marketing jokes are the new lawyer jokes? I mean, there are so many “opportunities” online now trying to get people to start their own businesses. It’s really become the ambulance chasing lawyer of the 1990s. So many people are looking for ways to make a living online. Is it really an opportunity for people. I know many of my family and friends who have gotten involved in all sorts of businesses claiming this is going to get them out of their day jobs.

I really enjoy my job. It allows me to travel and meet all sorts of interesting people in different places. I’ve also run into my fair share of people who are promising buckets of gold if I will join their opportunity because they see that I’m in sales and have a great knack for talking. I did come across an interesting training site for online business the other day.

Here are a couple of marketing jokes that were told to me by a couple of advertising executives…

How many social media experts does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s really not about change — it’s more about how you involve people in conversations about the change.

SEO guru’s pick-up line
I did an image search for a beautiful 10 woman with no search filters and a picture of you came up as the top result.

Here’s one take on Internet marketing and if it is truly legit: Internet Marketing isn’t a scam

A couple of marketing memes for your enjoyment:

google-mememarketing-meme

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Ever get witty block?

It takes a lot of effort to have your “game on” and be witty all the time. Trying to roll out the laughs in an instant takes loads of energy, that just can’t be found with artificial sweeteners and chemicals in a can. I find that the worst is when I can’t sleep and am exhausted the next day. The magic seems to be locked away is some hidden cavern. Even worse is trying to write blog posts to keep the laughs going…

I need to sleep on it…

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