Travel Jokes While On The Road

I’ve been traveling for work quite a bit lately. Had some downtime in the airports and picked up a few traveling jokes along the way. I wouldn’t recommend this one if you get pulled over by a police officer though:

Have you been drinking?

Woman is speeding and gets pulled over. Officer asks her to step out of the car. “Ma’am I noticed your eyes were a little bloodshot. Were you drinking?

With a “sweet” reply, the woman says, “Sir, I noticed your eyes were glazed. Were you eating donuts?”

The Poor Limo Driver

Have you heard about the poor limo driver who was driving for 10 years without a single customer?

All those years and nothing to chauffeur it.

Read More

Water, Water Everywhere: Thanksgiving Edition

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to a bar by the ocean for the first time. When the physicist saw the ocean, he was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Unfortunately, he drowned and never returned. The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned. Then, the chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”


Thanksgiving is just right around the corner. Heavy food like turkey and stuffing, paired with wine and pumpkin pie, is a combination that can make you and your guests sleepy, or worse, dehydrated. Don’t let the conversation die or allow anyone to start feeling unwell. Instead, be sure to serve crisp filtered water throughout the evening so your guests have plenty of H2O in their system late into the evening.

While keeping your guests hydrated is one thing, keeping your guests happy is just as important. Boerne Water Softener Pros can help with providing clean, clear and delicious water to wash down your meal—but the rest is up to you.

To pull off the perfect Thanksgiving, you need to prioritize. First things first: preparation and planning. To stay organized, it’s extremely important to create what caterers call a prep list, which lays out—in order—all the tasks that need to be done in the two days prior to your Thanksgiving dinner. You need to decide which recipes you want to make, and keep in mind that there’s only so much one person―and one kitchen―can do. If you really want 10 side dishes, look for recipes that use the same oven temperature, so they can cook at the same time. After you narrow down your menu, glance over the recipes that remain. Most can be broken into steps that you can do ahead of time. Then make a list of what you want to get done on each of the days leading up to Thanksgiving.

Just days before Thanksgiving, make everything that will be served chilled, like cranberry sauce. Cover the dishes, place them in the refrigerator, and forget about them until time to eat. It’s always a good idea to make one last trip to the store on the day before Thanksgiving. Gather up any supplies you may have forgotten before, and add on extras that might enhance your meal. On the day of, take a deep breathe. It’s easy to get stressed when you’re under pressure to make the perfect holiday meal for friends and family—but, don’t be afraid to ask for help! Distribute tasks to make your life easier.

Finally, when all the pies are out of the oven and the turkey is on the table, enjoy yourself! It is the holidays, you know. Give thanks to those you helped you pull off the perfect feast, and enjoy every bite of your home-cooked meal. And most importantly, remember to stay hydrated—it’s starting to look a lot like Christmas!

Laughter Is Good For Your Health

Wow, I got back from one of my consulting gigs and realized that I hadn’t posted to my blog in over a month. Time does really spin furiously forward… I picked up a few magazines on health while I was travelling and one of the articles caught my eye, so I tore it out and put it in my bag to make sure I remembered to write about it on my blog.

One of the things I love about jokes and being witty is that it not only makes the people around you laugh, it makes me laugh as well! So, in the article I was reading about laughter, there were seven health benefits that were discovered by researchers at the University of California. Drs. Lee Berk and Stanley Tan did the research and provided the following results… Read More

How Much Do You Read?

I was traveling last week and heading over to Europe. On the plane from New York City to London, one of the gentlemen I was sitting next to started a conversation with me just after take off. He was a businessman from Atlanta. He was heading over to London for some business consulting with some small businesses just outside of London. I asked him how long he had been doing business consulting. He had been involved in the small business consulting arena for a little over 15 years. I asked him how he was able to sustain his business for that long. I’ve always worked for a large corporation and had the benefit of thousands of employees.

Frankly, I was taken back by his response. He didn’t give me an answer. He asked me a very interesting question.

How much do you read? Read More

Are Marketing Jokes The New Lawyer Jokes?

Since marketing and online marketing is so popular these days, do you think online marketing jokes are the new lawyer jokes? I mean, there are so many “opportunities” online now trying to get people to start their own businesses. It’s really become the ambulance chasing lawyer of the 1990s. So many people are looking for ways to make a living online. Is it really an opportunity for people. I know many of my family and friends who have gotten involved in all sorts of businesses claiming this is going to get them out of their day jobs.

I really enjoy my job. It allows me to travel and meet all sorts of interesting people in different places. I’ve also run into my fair share of people who are promising buckets of gold if I will join their opportunity because they see that I’m in sales and have a great knack for talking. I did come across an interesting training site for online business the other day.

Here are a couple of marketing jokes that were told to me by a couple of advertising executives… Read More

Ever get witty block?

It takes a lot of effort to have your “game on” and be witty all the time. Trying to roll out the laughs in an instant takes loads of energy, that just can’t be found with artificial sweeteners and chemicals in a can. I find that the worst is when I can’t sleep and am exhausted the next day. The magic seems to be locked away is some hidden cavern. Even worse is trying to write blog posts to keep the laughs going…

I need to sleep on it…