Best Dad Jokes of All Time

The ‘Dad Joke’ is a term for a painfully bad pun… one that, well, a dad would make. Dads are the masters of cringe worthy jokes, and we love them for it. Why is it just dads? Who knows, really. I guess it just comes with the job title. Moms can magically tell your temperature with the backs of their hands, and dads can all of the sudden make endless bad jokes. Everyone needs a few good puns in their life every once in a while, though, so here are some of the best dad jokes out there.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

What’s Forest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the alphabet. I don’t know why…

You’re American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, but what are you when you’re in there? European.

What’s the loudest pet you can own? A trumpet.

Kid: I’m hungry. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m dad!

What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.

Why wasn’t the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him at school? Bison.

Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.

Did you here about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

What did the grape do when he was stepped on? He let out a little wine.

The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.

The rotation of the earth really makes my day.


Well there you go- eighteen bad jokes straight from the dads of the world. You gotta give it to them, dads have a sense of humor even if it is…unique. Now you can turn the tables and use these jokes on your own dad!

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